初恋的避孕套

原作者:不祥

 我15岁的时候才有初恋,比起那些早恋的人来说已经是属于晚恋型的了。他是我的同学,人长的很帅,学习也很好,几乎所有的人都认为他的前途是光明的,追他的女生也很多,可是他好像很清高,不为这些女孩所心动。

他家和我家离得很近,所以,我们经常在一起出入,渐渐的,我们也有了感情,一种似乎超越一般朋友的感情。

我发现,我爱上他了,而我的直觉也告诉我,他对我也有一种别样的情感。

暑假的一天,他来到我家玩,家里大人都不在家,就只有我们两个人,天气很热,我们都脱的只剩下短裤。最初,他呆呆的看着我,脸上泛出一阵阵红光,我知道他的内心在颤动,因为我也一样。终于,在那个夏天的午后,我们都彼此向对方坦白了自己的情感和爱恋。当他告诉我他爱我的时候,我有一种完全自足的满足感,我的信心和虚荣心都得到了极大的满足。

天气真的很热,我和他到外面找了一个冷饮店坐下,他掏出身上所有的零钱凑在一块为我买了一盒冰淇淋。

就一盒冰淇淋,是最贵的那种,如果买稍为便宜一些的,足可以买两盒。

我喜欢他这种宁要一个好桃也不要一筐烂梨的性格。

我问他吃吗?他说看着我吃。

我打开冰淇淋盒盖,用那精致的小勺盛起一勺向他的嘴送去。

当时我拿着小勺的手在剧烈的颤抖着,这是我第一次给他喂东西吃,他最初紧张的看着我,我也看到了他内心的慌乱,接着看到他的两眼里充满了一种柔情。

他探过头,腼腆的看着我慢慢的张开嘴,把我伸在他面前的勺子咬在了嘴里……

这个情节我只在爱情电影中看过,没想到却发生在我和他之间,直到现在我一回忆起这一幕,心头就会隐隐作痛。

我想,这大概是我一生中最最浪漫的一个细节。

他把冰淇淋咽下去,就一直心事重重的埋着头,也不说话,我问他怎么啦,他抬起头看了我半天才说到:“我没有想到我这样幸福,我真的感到好幸福……”

他有些激动,我明白他的意思,没让我想到的是,这样子优秀的男孩,竟会如此认真的对待我这样一个微小的动作。

说实话,当时我的心也被这种突如其来的幸福所震撼了。

他回家的时候对我说:“以后每天我都要请你吃冰淇淋!”

以后,他为了每天都有钱请我吃冰淇淋,就悄悄的干起了推销,用一个大包装着洗发水,化妆品什么的到处乱窜,推销东西。此我也要和他一起去,他坚决不干。

我们每晚都相约在那个冷饮店,他总是一头汗,满谩颉蛞尘的赶来,把包往椅子上一扔,然后兴高彩烈的掏出他所挣的钱,让我去买冰淇淋。

有时候我吃着吃着眼泪就想流下来,我不知道自己为什么这么幸福。我觉得我是天底下最最幸福的人。纵是我的肠胃不好,一吃凉的东西就会不舒服,可我还是天天等着他挣钱归来给我买冰淇淋吃。

有天我在冷饮店等他一直等到深夜12点钟,我坐在门口等他,我相信他一定会来的。

当时没有月亮,却有很多的星星,我坐在那里看星星,到凌晨一点多钟他才一瘸一拐狼狈的出现在我的面前。

冷饮店的老板知道我们的关系,但当他知道他这么晚了走了很久来付约的时候,他还是很感动,那一次,他也破例没有收钱。

他很累,脸上都是灰尘和汗渍,我一口口的喂他吃冰淇淋,他像一个孩子一样听话。

整个城市丁颉虔了,四周很静很静,我仿佛觉得整个城市就只剩我和他,我们可以为所欲为。

有段日子他生病了,正好那段日子我的爸妈随单位去旅游去了,我就让他住在了我家里。我照顾着他,给他煨鸡汤喝。

那几天我们不知疲倦的玩着,那个空荡荡的家里就是我和他的天堂。我们玩游戏机,看电视,饿了就一起做饭吃,吃饱喝足了,就躺在床上听音乐,听席琳迪翁的《MY HEAR WILL GO ON》。

我们长长的接吻,紧紧地搂着对方,搂的都喘不过气来。

每一次接吻都使我感到自己像是飞上了天。

我们的亲吻是灵魂的礼物。

我们就像是一对恩爱的夫妻一样,那时候也没有多想有关GAY这方面的问题,我们只是相爱着。

我们也会进行除了“1/0”之外的亲密的接触,我们对SEX方面知道的不是太多。

有一天晚上,我睡的迷迷糊糊,他的手放肆的抚摸着我,我睁开眼,看见他的身子因为激动而微微颤抖。他问我爱他吗?

我毫不犹豫的点点头,他说他想和我做“1/0”,他想插入我的身体。

我有些犹豫了,因为我听说这样子就会得爱滋,就会死掉,只有戴安全套才能不得爱滋。

我不知道做“1/0”不戴安全套会不会真的得爱滋,但是我宁愿相信这是真的,因为我真的不想死。

我对有些疯狂的他说,明天,明天我们买了安全套好吗?

说实话我也快把握不住自己了,如果他再进一步的要求我,我会答应他的。

可是他却很听话的滚到了一边,当时我的心沉浸在一种深深的失落之中。

第二天,我们决定去买安全套。

当时街上专门的性用品商店已经不少了,可我们经过这些商店的门前时,连望都不好意思往里面望,明明知道里面有我们所要的东西,可是我们谁也不好意思进去。

我们知道这种东西药店也有的卖,我们走进药店假装买药,东看看,西瞅瞅,明明看见安全套就放在柜台里,但就是开不了口让小姐拿出来。

那一天,我们走得很累,但却是无功而返,很沮丧的回到家,坐在客厅里。

那一晚,我们什么也没有做,和衣躺在床上,辗转反侧,其实我们都知道对方想要什么,可是我们都怕那个让人感到恐惧的结果。

我们就这样子躺到凌晨,他突然对我说:

“明天,我就能搞到安全套了。”

我问他是用钱去买吗?他说不用去买。他告诉我有一次在他表姐夫家住,无意中在床头看见许多这样的东西,可以去偷几个过来。

他为自己的发现而高兴,我也很高兴。我们在黑暗中又接了一次吻,祝明天的好运气,然后在希望中睡了过去。

我们希望明天快来临。

第二天,他一大早就走了,去他的表姐夫家取安全套。我一整天都处在一种兴奋之中,我把床收拾的干干净净,等待他的回来。

等啊等,越等越不安。

在不安的等待中,在傍晚才等到一个电话,电话是医院打来的,说有一个病人在医院要见我。

我匆匆赶到医院,他奄奄一息的躺在手术车上,准备进手术室,脸色苍白,满身都浸在血中,他的亲人都在两边哭啼。

他看见我后,微微笑了一下,嘴唇动了动,想说什么,可是什么都没有说出来,把手伸给我,我去握他的手,他把几只安全套放在握的手心里。

原来他去取安全套,他的表姐夫家住在四楼,家里没有人,他就翻窗户进了屋。上去的时候很顺利,下来的时候,被人发现了,认为他是贼,一阵大声叫嚷,他一失手从上面掉了下来。

肝脏破裂,抢救无效死了。

当冰冷的他从手术室推出来的时候,我哭昏在地。

我后悔极了,为什么执意要用这狗屁安全套呢?

他死了,我整个人几乎崩溃,我希望为他再做一点事,以此弥补内心的悔恨。

我手臂上戴着黑纱把他送进火葬场,又从火葬场把他的骨灰抱回来。

在做这一切时,他亲手给我的安全套就在我的衣袋里,贴着我的身子。

他的亲人,包括我的亲人,都不明白我为什么这样悲痛欲绝。

他去世了很久,唯一保存下来的有关他的物品只有三种,一件是我们第一次去冰淇淋店里用过的小勺,还有一张他的照片,再有就是这几只安全套。

这是我们相爱的见证。

他死以后,我决定一个人过完一辈子,不会爱男人,也不会爱女人。因为这个世界上不可能还有第二个去搞推销挣钱为我买冰淇淋的人。

可是,最后,我没有做到。

再后来,我又在这个圈子里出道,又遇见了我的BF。

因为这是每一个人的唯一的出路。

从那以后,我不再吃冰淇淋,一辈子也不吃!

我和BF做爱时,我也坚决不用安全套。

2 thoughts on “初恋的避孕套”

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    cheap jerseys Get daily updates directly to your inbox+ SubscribeThank you for subscribing!It is understood that extreme option is among a number of moves Ibrox chiefs are currently exploring following the breakdown of their relationship with the German sportswear firm and Mike Ashley’s Sports Direct empire.The jersey row was sparked on Wednesday evening when Puma confirmed it had released a batch of kits for sale to Sports Direct and other retailers despite the club’s objections.Under Scottish Professional Football League guidelines, Gers were required to register their colours for the new season by June 1.They have already worn the 1980s style royal blue home shirt on four occasions during their Betfred Cup fixtures but there remains a possibility a new strip could be rolled out before the season is over.SPFL rule G31 allows for alterations to be made to the designs so long as the “prior approval” of the league board has been granted first.The shirt hits the fan as Rangers strips go on sale but major Glasgow retailer vows to wait for go ahead from clubLight Blues chiefs would also have to apply to alter the kits lodged with the Scottish Football Association for use in the William Hill Scottish Cup.However, the SFA handbook does allow for a change, stating: “Exceptionally, a club may, with the approval
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